Okay, Seriously? Best summer ever
by Llamas Are Sexy
Summary: Sakura, stop losing your underwear. Hinata, stop being slutty mcslut pants. Karin, listen to me-no seriously, listen-UGH, fine then. TenTen, you cannot change your name to Jack Daniels. And OMAIGAWD INO IF YOU DO NOT STOP FLAILING RIGHT THIS INSTANT-!


Hello again, people. This is the first time I have uploaded anything in _months_. I was inspired to write this after reading some work by **Alive in Wonderland**.

I am basing this story off of a serious of weird and funny events that involed my friends and I this past summer. So a lot of what you see in this story is based off of true events lol.

**Disclaimer: **disclaimed.

* * *

><p>Her eyes snapped open, and then instantly closed again. The light filtering into the room from <em>somewhere<em> was being a dick and shining directly into her line of sight.

She groaned and rolled over onto the warm, lumpy pillow beside her. Her eyes shoot open again when her nice warm, lumpy pillow grunts in response.

Sakura raised herself up onto her elbows, and was then made aware of a few details:

o1) She was _not_ in her bedroom.

o2) She wasn't even _in_ a bedroom. It was like, a basement or something (_ew_ gross. That means she slept on the floor or something.)

o3) Ino was beside her, which explained why her lumpy, grunty pillow was so lumpy and grunty.

o4) She had no idea where her sister and her other two best friend were.

o5) She was almost pretty sure that her parents realized she never came home. Fun times.

She sat up on her knees and searched her person for her phone, and found it in her back pocket. When she pulled it out, there were various text message alerts on the screen. Sakura rolled her eyes. A majority of them were from Pineapple anyway. She dialed his number.

_"Just to let you know, beforehand, I can't be your alibi. It's almost noon, and your parents already called me." He answered,_

"_Ugh_, must you ruin my plans before I even think of them? That's so rude." She rolled her eyes again, even though he couldn't see her (but she didn't doubt for a second that he knew that's what she was doing). "Anyways, you can't be my alibi. I just remembered you were here last night too. Why aren't you here now?"

_"Because, if you are _not too_ hung over to remember, my mother is bat-shit insane, and would very likely come hunt me down should I decide to break my curfew. I tried to get you to leave, but yeah, that didn't work. You are really annoying when you're drunk, and twice as stubborn. I didn't have the time to stick around and babysit."_

"Yeah, whatever. Are you at work now?" she asked.

_"Was just about to leave. Do you want me to tell the boss that you'll be coming in late?"_

"_Uhmmm_, nah. Don't bother. I'm not coming in, today. I suddenly am feeling very nauseous."

_"That sounds like an excuse, but considering last night, I bet it's not too far from the truth. Regardless, one of these days, you're going to get fired."_

Sakura smirked. "Well you better hope that doesn't happen, because then you'll be the one to buy me stuff and stuff, Shikamaru."

_"Man, whatever."_

"Love you~! Text you later, 'kaybai." And she ended the call.

Sakura stretched some, looking around the room—and then noticed that her bra was hanging from the corner where the ceiling and wall met. She looked down at her chest and felt it through her shirt, indeed confirming that she was bra-less.

"What the _fuck?_"

* * *

><p>Karin doesn't know <em>how<em> or _why_, but every time she goes out and get's shitfaced or whatever, she always wakes up in the bathtub. Like really, what the fuck is _that_ about?

And most of the time, the bathtub isn't clean because yeah, she knows _young adult_ people and stuff. Ew _gross_, her shirt is damp. It smells like beer, so that means it's ruined. Great.

She scrambled out of the tub and rolls onto the floor, where she can't help but to notice someone else is passed out. She blinks a few times, trying to figure out who it is in the dark, and grumbles when she realizes that she can't, and that she is forced to turn on the light—oh _ow_, fucking lights! The fuck are they always so _bright_ for, Gawd.

She blinks again, her vision becoming less blurry, eyes (barely) getting used to the light—

Oh hello, there.

Karin shakes Tenten's shoulder to try and wake her up. Tenten groans, mumbles something incoherent, and rolls over onto her side, away from Karin.

Karin scoffs, and punches her friend in the butt.

"Wake the fuck up, Tenten. You're on the floor."

"_Raughohmaigawd_—the hell do you want, woman? I am SUH-LEEPING."

Karin rolls her eyes. Her throat is dry, her tongue feels heavy, and the inside of her mouth tastes like dick. She is in desperate need of a shower and a toothbrush (ironic, considering where she _is_), and she needs to leave and go home and get the yelling-lecture thing over with so she can do those things and then collapse in her own bed. But TenTen was her ride last night—she doubts she'll be leaving without her.

It vaguely occurs to her that she really shouldn't leave with out _Sakura_ either, but she's feeling just a little too selfish at the moment to really care about that.

Karin crawls onto TenTen, and straddles her hips, then proceeds to squish the other girl's cheeks together. "If you do not _get_ the fuck up _right now_, I am going to _eat your face._"

She knew TenTen knew she was crazy enough to try it—well, more like gnaw on her forehead. Whatever. Point proven.

**.**

TenTen groans again, and starts to squirm around underneath her crazy ass friend.

Like Seriously.

The fuck is wrong with Karin? Eat people's face—what the hell. It is too early, and TenTen is still a bit drunk from the previous night to deal with this shit.

She scowls at Karin. "Bitch, if you do not get off of me, I am gonna flip you over, and _rape you_."

She doesn't like the smirk that comes to Karin's face.

"Oh TenTen, we both know that is _not_ the right thing to say to get me to do what you want."

Karin then groped TenTen's boob.

TenTen flails.

"_OMAIGAWD WOMAN, ASDHJFKLL—STOP THAT, YOU HEATHEN!_"

**.**

Karin grins wolfishly and only gropes more.

For real, it is so fun to fuck with TenTen. She is so easy to rile up. No joke.

"Well _clearly_, you're awake now. Let's get the hell out of here."

"_Ugh_, Karin, you're such a slut."

Karin places her lips to TenTen's cheek, and blows a raspberry in response.

* * *

><p>Ino was normally a cheery person. She was happy-go-lucky, hyperactive gorgeous epicness rolled into a five foot five blonde bombshell.<p>

So yeah, _normally_, she has a _great_ attitude when she wakes up.

But no, not today. Fuck that.

Ino is straight up hung over, and Sakura is a bitch.

"Sakulips, I am gonna shave yer head if you don't get the hell off of me. Like, legit, not cool."

Sakura pouted. "You're no fun." She paused, and then shook her head. "But anyway, get up. We have to find everyone and blow this joint. M'like, mad hungry."

When Ino thinks about it, she feels a bit empty in the stomach area, and decides that food isn't such a bad idea. But seriously.

"Sakura, you're such a douchelord. Get offa me—oh I think someone's calling me."

Ino disentangled her hand from the random cover somehow draped over/around her, and fumbled around for her phone—

OH HELL NO.

SHE COULDN'T FIND IT.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT—MY PHONE IS _GAWN_—"

"Silly Ino, it's in your boobs!"

Ino looked down.

Oh hey, there it is.

"Hey-hey-hey 'lo?" she answered.

_"Don't answer the phone like that. You sound like an awkward, out of style, middle aged dude or something."_

Ino rolled her eyes and giggled. "Ha, whatever. Where you at, babe?"

_"Um, TenTen and I are like, in the bathroom. Well no, that's where we woke up. I think we're in the living room now. One of them. Whatever. The fuck is this house so pointlessly big for?"_

"To throw awesome parties for, _duh._ Anyway, Sakulips and I are in the basement or something. Eye-Dee-Kay, it's darkish in here, except for the light from the window—Sakura… is that your bra?"

Sakura flipped her hair forward and started to braid it. "Um, yeah. I don't know how it got there. I tried to get it down, but I'm too short."

"_Why_ didn't you just use the chair?"

"Oh, why didn't I think of that? Probably because someone is _sleeping_ on it."

"Ugh, you are super useless. Hold on, 'Rin-chan." Ino ignored Karin's protests and questions about Sakura's bra, and looked around for something. Then she found a stray pillow, and tossed it at the guy who was sleeping in an awkward position on the chair. He jerked awake and almost fell out of the chair when it hit him in the face.

He sputtered a bit, grumbling and swearing, trying to wake up.

"Hi there; Sorry to wake you, but it's not like you won't be woken up soon enough anyway, but my friend needs to use your chair for _just_ a second, please?"

The guy looked a bit confused, and actually fell of the chair in an effort to get off.

"Sankyuu~!" Sakura said, and started to push the chair over to the corner.

Ino returned to her call. "Okay, now then—"

_"Why doesn't my sister had a _bra_ on?"_

"Again, eye-dee-kay Karin. She's _your_ sister. Ask her yourself."

_"Inopants, do _not_ get smart with me before I have had my morning coffee."_

Ino laughed. "Puh-lease. It's going on one or something. The morning is over and done with. Anyways, Sakura's gonna get her bra, and we'll meet you in the kitchen. 'Kaybai."

And Ino ended the call.

* * *

><p>It doesn't take much to pique Karin's curiosity, or to tick her off for that matter, so when she hears Ino question Sakura about the status of her, she feels this weird mix of both.<p>

On the one hand—OMAIGAWD _YAY!_ SAKULIPS MADE IT HALFWAY BETWEEN SECOND AND THIRD BASE! That is like, awesomer than awesome!

But on the other hand—BABY SISTER MIGHT HAVE BEEN DEFILED LAST NIGHT? OH HELL NO. HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL. That shit does not fly by Karin. (nevermind the fact that Karin is only like a year older than Sakura and hasn't been a virgin since she was fourteen. Whatever, not the point).

Karin grabs TenTen's hand and literally starts to drag the poor girl in the direction that she vaguely remembers the kitchen being in.

_"Oh_ my Gawd, Karin, do you have to be so _loud?"_ TenTen asks, grabbing her head.

Karin snorts. "I can't help it. There are plastic cups and beer bottles all over the place. Close your ears."

TenTen mutters something—probably something _rude_—but Karin ignores her, and focuses on her hunt for the kitchen.

* * *

><p>"This bathroom is like, bigger than my room."<p>

Ino rolls her eyes.

On their way to the kitchen, Sakura was hit with the urgent need to relieve her bladder, and called a pit stop into order, and went in search of the nearest bathroom.

Which just happened to be in the opposite direction of their destination.

Ino loved Sakura, truly she did—they had a friendship that goes all the way back to second grade—but the girl was trying her patience. Ino was hungry, and hung over, and Sakura was getting on her _last_ nerve.

"Sakura," she calls through the door. "I don't care. _Please_ hurry the fuck up, so we can get out of here."

_"Ugh_, Inopants you are _no_ fun. All I had to do was pee, but now I feel like pooping, just to spite you."

"I am _so_ gonna drown you in the toilet. Hurry up!"

The door flew open and revealed a half annoyed, half amused Sakura.

"Um. Ino?" she asks.

"Whaaaaaaat?" Ino whines.

"I think I might've gotten laid last night."

Ino, forgetting her hung over-ness and hunger, starts flailing.

"OMAIGAWD ARE YOU SERIOUS! DETAILS. DETAILS, I SAY!"

Sakura tilts her head to the side and looks thoughtful. _"Weeeellll,_ I don't know for sure. I don't remember anything after dancing with you and Karin."

"Then how do you know you got laid?"

"I _don't_ know. I said, I _think_ I _might've_ gotten laid."

Ino drags her hand down her face. _"Ugh_, Sakura. You are so confusing. If you aren't sure, than it probably didn't even happen. You probably dreamt it or something."

"Oh really? If it was only a dream, then where the fuck are my panties? CAN YOUR LOGIC EXPLAIN THAT? NO IT MOST CERTAINLY CANNOT."

It took both girls a few moments before they realized Karin and TenTen were standing down the hall, staring at them. Well, TenTen was staring. Karin was seething.

**.**

Karin _really_ wished she hadn't heard that correctly. Because if she did, then that would mean Sakura was deflowered and defiled last night, and she was going to have to kill someone.

"Whoa. _Busted."_ Is all Ino says.

Sakura bounces on the balls of her feet and waves shyly at Karin. "Ohai. Didn't see you there, because if I had, then this conversation wouldn't have even happened."

Karin stalks over to Sakura, grabs her wrist, and says: "We are going home, _now."_

* * *

><p>When Hinata opens her eyes, she is only mildly aware of hushed voices speaking heatedly. She rolls onto her side and props herself up, looking for her cellphone.<p>

_"I can't believe it. Right on, dude! It's about _time_ you got some action again."_

_"Are you even listening to me? You're an idiot—that's _not_ what I said."_

_"Pfft, okay whatever. I know you just want some _privacy_ or what the fuck ever."_

Hinata sits all the way up not, and notes the vague pounding in her head.

That is the _last_ time she drinks Jack Daniels. It's gross, and she doesn't know how her friends can stand it—Hinata couldn't even finish one cup of the stuff, and it was mixed with cola.

She wishes she'd stuck to her wine coolers.

"N-Naruto?" she calls out softly.

There's some shuffling heard, and then the door to the room opens and Naruto sticks his head in. "Hinata-chan, you're up! Great! Are you hungry?"

Hinata smiles, and shakes her head. She reaches for a lone t-shirt hanging on the back of a computer chair, and slips it on. It's way too big for her, but she doesn't care. She loves it. "Actually, I was sort of wondering if you had any aspirin?"

Naruto grins and nods his head. "Yeah, I'll bring you some."

"Thank you."

His head disappears, and Hinata is left to search for her pants.

She finds them strewn over an amp, and pulls them on. Then she reaches for her cellphone.

She feels her head pound just a little harder when she sees she has over 20 texts from her friends.

She forgoes answering them all, and just calls the last person to shoot her one.

TenTen answers after the first ring. _"Hinaaaataaaa~!"_

"Hi, Tenchan. Is everything alright?"

_"Oh. Yeah, I don't know. There's a bit of drama going on. And for once it has nothing to do with Ino or Karin."_

"Oh? Is it you?"

_"Naaaah! You know how I am, Hinata. At the first sign of trouble, I'm the first one to handle it."_

Hinata chuckled. "Oh yes, how could I forgot. So I take it, this is about Sakura then?"

_"Yeah, and let me tell ya, this is_ SO_ deviant of her."_

Hinata had to admit, she was a bit curious now.

She left the bedroom, and was greeted by the sight of Naruto messing around in the kitchen while his black haired friend sat on the couch in the living room, watching TV. She greeted them both with a smile.

"Hello," she said, and made her way into the kitchen. He held out a glass of water, and pointed to the two pills that were resting on the counter. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek as thanks.

"So," she returned to her conversation with TenTen. "What's going on now? Where are you guys?"

_"Oh, Karin dragged Sakura home, so Ino and I are out getting coffee."_ She paused. _"Now that I think about it, where are you, Hinata~?"_

"I'm at N-Naruto-kun's apartment." She flushed.

_"Oh-ho-ho, is that right? Got some ass last night, Hinata. Good job!"_

She felt her cheeks burn. "T-TenTen! Don't say it like that! I wanted to leave, so I called him for a ride, fell asleep in his car, so he just brought me back here."

_"He could've ravished you in your sleep, Hinata-chan!"_

Hinata sighed. "Oh TenTen. You say the darnedest things. He would never do anything like that."

_"You're too trusting, Hinata. But it's okay, if he _did_ do anything, he will die. Let him know that."_

Hinata rolled her eyes. "Yeah, _okay._"

_"This is actually a lot like Saku's little bit of drama. She woke up with no bra on—but she found hanging on the wall—and no panties. _Those _have yet to make an appearance."_

"Well, did you guys actually try looking for them?"

TenTen scoffed. _"First of all—that was awkward as hell. We were rolling people over and stuff. Second of all, it's kind of hard to miss 'em. They are really fancy looking—black with pink ribbons lacing the front and the back together at the sides, and then it makes a bow at the hips. There's also a tiny pink bow on the front, right beneath the waistline."_

"Okay, honestly, I don't think I can process this fast enough. I'll call you later."

_"Later babe!"_

Hinata sighed and closed her phone before slipping it into her back pocket. She walked over to the counter, picked up the two pills, and popped them in her mouth, then took a swig of water. She swallowed, and then looked around. "N-Naruto-kun, do you have any coffee?"

"Um… if you give me a minute, I can have some ready." He answered.

"Th-thank you," she smiled.

He led her to the living area and moved some stray clothing off of a chair and then motioned for her to sit down.

Hinata sat down, and Naruto went back into the kitchen. She looked over at his friend, really noticing him now, and smiled shyly at him. "Um, hello. I'm Hinata."

He nodded at her. "Sasuke."

"Are you Naruto-kun's friend?" she asked him.

He sighed, and flipped some how out of his face. "Yeah, I guess. I don't know _why_ though."

"BECAUSE YOU EFFIN _LOVE_ ME, BASTARD. _ADMIT IT._"

"Yea—no."

Sasuke leaned forward to pick up his soda, incidentally giving Hinata a good look into his pocket.

Her eyes widened.

"S-Sasuke-san? Is that, um, underwear? In your pocket?"

Sasuke paused, and looked at the statuesque girl. "Yeah…?"

"C-can I ask where you got them from?"

"I….found them."


End file.
